- The pursuit of pole-iness -

1 April 2019

Why I can’t hang out, and why I’m not sorry.

We can all get a little Torrance Shipman from Bring It On (that scene where she says ‘I am only cheerleading!’ except, you know, with Pole dancing) as we get more serious about our sport.

And who can blame us? The pressure we put on ourselves to be amazing, or at least not to look like a dick on stage, is intense. We put a lot into this shit.

Firstly, there’s the training. Dear lord is there the training. Strength, flexibility, cardio so you don’t blow a lung mid combo on stage… I’ll stop here, I don’t want to scare the virgin comp babes.

Many nutritionally balanced meals go into fuelling a healthy, strong pole bod that can keep up with a hefty training schedule. While we should never feel ‘hungry’, depriving oneself of Krispy Crème donuts and Margaritas can leave you feeling pretty unsatisfied, and a bit left out of the social scene too.

Unfortunately, someone’s gotta pony up the dough for all those classes and shoes, and that someone is likely you. Luckily, you’re saving a tonne of cash on cocktails now that you’re a meal prepping hermit that feeds on chicken and broccoli on Friday nights, presumably while bedazzling a costume. So it kind of all works out.

I could go on listing the things that go into becoming better performer, but I’m on a word limit so please, be a doll and insert your top ones here for me.

I used to feel really bad about saying no to people, places, dinners, drinks, more drinks etc. so I could focus on dancing.
The thing is, everything has a price. Being successful is really about what you’re willing to sacrifice to get where you want to be.

If your out there feeling like an asshole for ditching another night out in favour of training, I hope this blog helps you feel proud and #notsorry.

Remember, the juice is definitely going to be worth the squeeze (and you can add some vodka to that freshly squeezed juice once you’ve slayed your routine on stage).

Til’ next time,



1 February 2019

How do you eat a bird of paradise?

One bite at a time.

As I type this pole dancers across the globe are carefully curating a list that will no doubt be covered in blood sweat and dry hands come December 31.

Whether you write em down or paste them on a vision board, Pole Goals are a big part of our sparkly, pleaser clad New Year.

But what about those of us who are starting out a little deflated? It can be easy to fixate on the things you didn’t tick off the 2018 list, or to be salty about things you nailed then lost (if anyone sees my Iron X, tell it I miss it). Add an Instagram filled with girls who make deadlifts look more effortless then drinking a bottle of Prosecco yourself at family Christmas and you have a recipe for some serious ‘shoulding’.

I should have trained harder, I should have stretched daily… Before you know it, you’re ‘shoulding’ all over yourself.

If this sounds like you, it’s time to stop and take a moment to appreciate some of the things you did tick off last year. Maybe you performed, even though it scares you. Maybe you were kind to your body and took rest. Maybe you made a small change towards a healthier body or mind. Maybe you did get your unicorn move – you go Glen CO-CO!

Goals are a fantastic motivator and without them we wouldn’t progress. I don’t have all the answers, but this year I’m trying to approach my list a little less ‘pass / fail’ and a little more ‘you’re a goddess no-matter what’.

In lieu of any fail safe goal reaching wisdom to impart, I just want to encourage you to thank yourself for every training session, every invert and every lunge. Even your worst day in the studio brings you closer to that amazing trick you will no doubt one day make your bitch. After all, how do you eat a bird of paradise? One bite (or stretch session) at a time.

Til’ next time,



8 December 2018

For those who brave the brass, chrome or stainless steel in the Australian summer.

When Charles Dickens wrote ‘It was the best of times, it was the worst of times’ I’m pretty sure he was referring to pole dancing in the sizzling Australian summer.

There are some definite pros to dancing under the great southern sun. Trotting into the studio in hotpants with a glowing tan is undeniably delightful.

Working on your flexibility goals? Warm muscles are less prone to injury, the more the mercury rises the easier it is to show some tendon loving care and get those ligaments feeling loosie goosy.

Before you get too chuffed with your splitty, scantily clad floorwork (complete with fan blowing your hair ala’ a Beyoncé film clip) I have two words for you: sweaty betty.

I’m not talking about a sexy glisten, I’m talking Niagara Falls baby – and I know I don’t need to tell you what that means (hot tip for young players, it means zilch in the grip department).

So, how can you beat the heat this summer? Here are my top 5 tips on saying no to slippage:

  • Apply your dry hands or grip of choice at least 30mins before you start training to give the active ingredients time to do their thing.
  • Choose an antiperspirant that will reduce sweat over a deodorant that just masks odors to keep things dry; apply the night before and morning of training for best results.

  • Not that many of us would fancy a spinning combo after a night of prosecco, but backing off the booze can help reduce sweat. The day after the Christmas party might be best reserved for a stretch sesh off the pole rather than a day of deadlifts – your hangover will thank me!

  • Ample sugar consumption (while deeply satisfying in the moment) can cause your body to produce too much insulin, leading to unpleasant side effects including perspiration. Try a piece of fruit over a can of coke to satisfy your sweet tooth instead.

  • Choose great pole wear! Different fabrics and designs will go a long way in wicking moisture away from your skin, so invest wisely in active wear designed with polers in mind (like KONTORT Apparel) to keep you looking and feeling cool.

My final verdict on poling during the heat wave that is Australian summer? For me it’s a no brainer, I’ll take a hot mess over nipples so stiff you could key a car with them any day of the week!

‘til next time,


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